Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize