It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
