Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
