O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
