I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
