I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize