I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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