No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
