Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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