i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
