I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
of course. lets lasso hookers.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize