The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
