we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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