Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
