i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
