Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
