I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Randomize