He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
