I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
NoShamevember. You game?
40s are totally the cure
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
