I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
