Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
