Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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