Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
