hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I think I am morally bankrupt
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
