My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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