ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
