Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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