I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize