I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
