He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Randomize
