It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize