I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
