so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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