my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
