A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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