all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
