what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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