You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
