also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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