My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
