i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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