Where is the hickey?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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