the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
