I want to stick my p in your. b.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize
