i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
