Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
