we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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