Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
