I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
