apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
