his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
