Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
