I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize