STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
