oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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