his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
