and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
