He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize